Avoidance (for this Quick Read) refers to staying away from doing things you actually desire to accomplish or being around people you enjoy. With anything in life, mindset and behavioral changes take time and intention. It’s a journey one may find themselves on for longer than they hoped but with focus and commitment it’s a journey well worth the travel. Avoidance can be a huge stumbling block along the way; it may appear to be a security measure but it can lead to being held back from the life you actually desire. Let’s dive in to a couple of reasons one may practice avoidance and some ways to overcome it.
Safety from others and personal insecurity are two major causes of avoidance. Oftentimes, avoidance is a tool to remain safe from those around you. If you've ever experienced trauma, avoidance may have become your best friend. It has kept you out of the way of that aggressive parent, away from hurtful bullies, or clear of critical co-workers. When it comes to personal insecurities. (you have yet to address) there may be some areas you aren’t fully confident in within yourself. Given these two reasons, you may have created a schedule with avoidance at the center of your daily tasks. Making it through the day without engaging with the people and things you deem unsafe (and aim to avoid) can feel like a victory. But in reality, it’s a fortress built of bricks of disconnection from what you love and layers of loneliness.
A few ways to tackle avoidance include discovering why you are employing avoidance, seeking healthier safety tools, and recognizing where you are versus where you have been. Another key is to unpack insecurity. Depending on your current circumstance, avoidance may be an outdated part of your personality that no longer serves you. Letting go of the shell you may have had to create in the past can be a challenge but it is also a necessity. And with practice, you can let down your guards and live freely.
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Based on the article, set aside at least 10 minutes to consider the following
Consider the areas you find yourself avoiding. This will take practicing awareness without judgement (deeming a thing good or bad). Choose one day this week, to pay attention to when you are internally avoiding an event. Do you feel a tugging away from that event due to a feeling of being unsafe or insecure?
Ask yourself the why behind avoiding each particular situation. Are you afraid of what others may think or say about you? Whose words from the past come to mind? Is there an area of personal insecurity (where you are not confident in yourself) at the root of the avoidance?
Aim to resolve the thoughts of being unsafe and insecurities you experience with the healthiest methods possible, then little by little began to venture out into those lands you secretly desire to explore and live freely in.
This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
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