One-Sided Relationships & Transparency

One-sided relationships shouldn’t be confused with a lack of reciprocity. This is key in understanding how healthy relationships work. Most people think reciprocity is when one individual receives exactly what they give (and how they give) from the person they are giving to. This is not reciprocity because not everyone is the same. For example, one person may be able to give financially to another person while the other may be able to give talent. Support looks different for different people, just like needs vary. One-sided relationships (whether between family, friends, or partners) look like one person giving their all while the other pours their energy into something outside of that relationship.

Energy is not usually the issue as much as where that energy is being deposited. If you find yourself in a one-sided relationship you may also find that there is a lack of transparency. Transparency is in an object being so clear that light can pass through it. In relationships, transparency looks like clear communication that is granted when asked and offered without asking. It is being open about topics that impact the couple as a well as open about oneself.

One-sided relationships also include a lack of mutual courtesies such as respect. Again, while each individual may show up differently for one another, there still exists some core boundaries that should be upheld. Patience prior to making things official creates space and time for certain things like transparency and respect to be displayed. It is vital to consider what each party involved is capable of contributing and what is to be expected. For example, parent-to-child relationships function differently from parent-to-parent relationships. The experiences, expectations, and contributions are very different.

Life Work

Based on this article, set aside at least 10 minutes and consider the following:

• Consider at least two of your relationship dynamics (i.e. partner to partner, parent to child, peer to peer).

• Next, consider the expectations and capabilities of yourself and the other person. What are you capable of giving? What are you expected to give? Consider the same for the other party.

• Now, consider if this relationship is one-sided? What makes it one sided? Are you expecting more than the person is capable of giving? Are you accepting less?

• Be sure to journal your experience.

---