Humility, Relationships, and How to Argue Successfully

Humility doesn’t seek to be right, it looks for what is right. Humility in a relationship is vital to the strength and longevity of it. It is not a sign of weakness but a symbol of peace. When two or more people humble themselves, wonderful things happen. Pride is the opposite of humility; it is ego-centered and one-sided. Humility looks like listening before speaking, communicating processed emotions, and being open for resolution.

Listen before you speak. Listening is a device used in effective communication. Think of it as the space between two or more individuals having a conversation. Active listening requires patience and consideration. Oftentimes, people are hearing and not listening, when we listen, we are better able to understand, reflect, and process.

Communicate Processed Emotions. It is vital to process thoughts and emotions prior to communicating. Living in fast-paced environments can influence how people communicate. It has become a norm to quickly act and respond, but when you consider the intricacy of relationships—most dialogue requires processing. Don’t feel rushed to reply (this doesn’t mean avoidance either). Genuinely consider what is being said to you or what you actually think about a matter and proceed to communicate in the healthiest way possible. Remember, the aim is peace.

Be open for resolution. Conversation goals vary and when there is a difference of opinion the goal should be a resolution. Again, humility seeks what is right, not to be right. When a person is open to resolution, they exhibit the former habits of listening and communicating processed emotions. They are willing to acknowledge where change is required and do their best to be empathetic. They also require patience and empathy. Finding resolution is the pathway to higher levels of closeness and stronger bonds.

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Based on this article, set aside at least 10 minutes to consider the following:

• Do you aim for peace or do you aim to be right?

• What is at least one thing you can do (or stop doing) to be a better listener?

• How can you process your thoughts and emotions more effectively?

• Be sure to journal your experience.

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