Why It’s Hard for Some to Accept Happiness

Acceptance is a powerful ability. The interesting thing about acceptance is that, oftentimes, it is more challenging to accept what is good than what is feared. Acceptance has the power to weaken the resistance of opposing forces— and this reveals why opposition tries to come against your happiness. The challenge in accepting good can be found in time, experiences, and the fear of disappointment.

Time

Time is an ultimate tester of what you believe. Most people give up on dreams or good things simply because they did not embrace the time it would take for it to show up in their lives. This is why belief beyond time and other factors is important. Having your belief attached to a timeframe is a sure way of not accepting that it could happen. Time will test your belief.

Experiences

Experience, whether previous or present, has a way of writing a story that isn’t necessarily true. Oftentimes, we associate previous or present-day circumstances with what could be. We even allow those experiences to cause us to not see the good in the present moment. This is partially due to the brain’s way of creating patterns in thinking called schemas in order to help us organize and interpret the world around us based on our experiences. For example, the first time a person encounters an object, the brain stores the characteristics of that object for future interpretations. It’s partially why we can see figures in clouds.

The thing about intangible prior or present experiences pertaining to the future (which has yet to be experienced) or within relationships (be it personal, professional, or societal) is that they are limited in the ability to forecast what could be. They should be seen for what they are in the moment versus applying templates derived from them to every other relationship or experience to come. Even the relationship one has with things like money should be processed with the understanding that what was or is, does not define what could be.

Allowing undesirable experiences to stop you from embracing the good is one way of preventing joy. Don't allow undesirable experiences prevent you from soaking in joy.

Fear of Disappointment

Which leads to the fear of disappointment. Withholding joy and accepting the good does not protect you from disappointment, however, it does deprive you of experiencing goodness. Disappointment and the fear of disappointment are two very different things. It is vital to perceive the difference between the two. Fear prevents you from moving forward, so you aren’t truly experiencing much at all. While accepting the good is a vulnerable state to be in, vulnerability is an inevitable aspect of life. Trying to avoid vulnerability is like trying to prevent the wind from blowing—it's an exhausting use of time and energy.

When we are open to accepting the good, we find the adventure of life and the joy we were desperately looking for.

Life Work

 Based on this article, set aside at least 10 minutes to consider the following:

• Consider how time, experience, and the fear of disappointment have impacted the way you show up in daily life. Are you optimistic or do you find yourself being pessimistic based on this three areas?

• Do/did you ever prevent or stop yourself from being happy due to the fear of that happiness not lasting? Are you able to tell the difference between the fear of disappointment and actual disappointment in your life?

• How have you confronted disappointment? Did you allow it to take away the reality of what is (and could be) good?

• Are you open to accepting happiness regardless of time, experience, and disappointment (of the fear of disappointment)?

As always, be sure to journal your experience.

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