There is much said about healing the five-year old self and protecting the inner child but what happens when the inner child is the very person holding you back from living in the freedom you have today? Too often, many are seeking to serve the younger versions of themselves versus surrendering to who they can be in the present moment. They are stuck trying to fill the voids of their adolescent self; or comfort the abandonment experienced in their teen years; or soothe the poor self-image from long ago. It is one thing to heal the younger version of yourself but it is equally essential to release that inner child in order to step in to the now.
Again, healing is the first step. There is a need to repair brokenness from the past. It is important to note that healing isn’t a concept of nursing. It is getting to the root of the hurt and proceeding to overcoming that hurt. A few keys to healing include acknowledgement, forgiveness, and discovering how an offense actually changed you. As discussed in the LifeCourse, Getting to Wholeness, trauma isn’t the event but how the event impacted the way you think and behave. Addressing these areas is a major step in the process of healing.
Letting go of the inner child is possible by disassociating from the unfavorable experiences of the younger self. In this particular context, it is about disconnecting from the mindset built on the previous trauma. This can be seen as not continuing to serve the fears of the old you. For example, a person may find themselves in toxic cycles because they are constantly seeking the approval they may have never received as a child. A pattern of thinking based on rejection was formed due to unfavorable circumstances of the past. However, once healed, the next step is to begin the journey of reshaping your pattern of thinking, self-talk, and how you show up in the world.
Being present is a bit more obtainable when you are no longer looking back. Presence is defined as the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing. This state of being consists of having an awareness of the now and being conscious of the healing experienced. It is difficult to be present if one is constantly identifying with the child they once were. Stepping into the present version of you, supports in experiencing all that life is offering today. It also paves the road ahead for a healthy tomorrow.
Letting the inner child go can be challenging but it should be seen as a release and not abandonment. It is a level of freedom most don't know exists. Releasing the old self makes space for welcoming in the new (and the now).
Sit comfortably with your pen and journal and consider the following:
Assess whether or not your inner child is healed. If not, consider taking the next steps on the journey of getting to wholeness.
If you have come to a place of healing, begin to consider how you may still be serving the voids of the inner child.
Practice being present by refraining from serving the inner child (little by little) and showing up as your now self.
Be sure to journal your experience.
This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.