Relationships: Growing Together & Growing Apart

You may not recognize it, but the process of building a relationship is the process of creating a new person. When two people come together in business, friendship, or romance, a new person is being born. As time progresses, hopefully the connection between the two (or more) parties evolve as well. One truth is that some relationships grow together and others grow apart.

Growing Apart. Relationships that typically grow apart are those based on proximity, trauma, and history. Proximity connections are relationships bound together simply by where one lives, works, or goes to school. Those based on trauma are held together by shared hurt and pain. And unions (platonic or non) based on history are those linked by the length of time invested.

Some of us may have grown up hearing that there is a difference between friends and associates (and many of us have come to fully understand this statement). Relationships built on proximity, trauma, and history tend to grow apart because they lack a vital ingredient: purpose. While most relationships may have purpose, there are those that are united by purpose. For example, one can learn a lot from a relationship that is joined together by history, yet the relationship itself may lack purpose. We can learn from all things, yet all things may not be in alignment with purpose.

Purpose. Purpose is a reason for being. A fork has a purpose. A car has a purpose. A computer has a purpose. Individuals have purpose. And relationships between individuals have purpose. When we engage in communicating and relationship building, it’s super important to seek out the purpose for which you are connecting with someone. This is in every relationship; no matter the nature. Remember, you are creating a new person and that person has purpose, vision, and power to build. And for the “meant to be” relationships, purpose grows (keeping the bond intact for years to come).

Growing Together. The ultimate goal in building relationships should be to make a good thing better or something totally new that serves a grander purpose than what you are called to accomplish as an individual. People grow apart because they grow as individuals and the people they become no longer fit in to the relationship they initially established. The key to remaining (and expanding) is a knowledge of their reason for being together and that each party grows into the purpose that the relationship is intended to manifest.

Oftentimes, many get into relationships for another person to fulfill their needs, the issue becomes what happens when that need is fulfilled? When people say they have fallen out of love, what they are really saying is that there is no purpose to aspire to. But where purpose exists, commitment thrives.

LifeWork: Survey the relationships you’re currently in. Ask the following of each,

Is this relationship held together by:

• Proximity

• Trauma

• History

• Purpose

For those that are held together by Proximity, Trauma, and History - ask if there is a greater purpose to aspire to or if there needs to be a release (done in love).

For those that are held together by Purpose, ask if the person you are becoming is in alignment with the manifestation of that purpose. In addition, seek out the clarity of the purpose itself.

Remember to journal your experience. Get your soft cover LifeClub (Greatness is Intentional) Journal here.

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Tashima Jones is an author and life coach who focuses on personal development and building inner-wealth. Tap here for more on her coaching sessions. Not a Member? Join the Club here.

This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.