5 Hacks to Personal Reinvention

Reinvention tends to occur out of necessity. It is usually the result of things going wrong or growing stale; but it also be by choice. What once worked may no longer benefit you. Or, on the other hand, things may have never really worked to begin with. Either way, reinventing yourself is not glamorous, requires risk, and may feel very awkward at first. However, when done properly, it’s worth it. Here are a few tips for reinventing yourself.

Keep what’s good. Personal reinvention doesn’t mean getting rid of every part of who you are. It doesn’t mean you have to leave your entire life behind, travel to another country, and change your name. If you took some time to reflect, you would be able to find a few good things about your life, and this is your starting point. What are your wins? Who have you become up until this point? Contrary to what it may feel like, you’re not starting from scratch. Discover the parts of you and your life that you actually want to bring with you. Now, not everything you want may be beneficial, so be sure to look out for unhealthy attachments.

Throw away what’s hurting you. Sometimes we want to hold on to what hurts. The hurt itself can become a part of our identity and personality. Hurt will continue to hurt no matter how you package it. Dwelling on the past keeps you captive to it. It creates a cave that you don’t desire to be in, but maybe can’t see how you would be outside of it. Past pain can be deceptive when you are loyal to it. Disfunction can be familiar. If it doesn't benefit you in a healthy way, leave it behind. You’ll be better because of it.

Trauma responses are not personality traits. They are behaviors created to keep you safe in situations that are actually dangerous. This is considered survival mode. Survival mode refers to the brain and overall nervous system exiting a state of rest and entering into a fight-or-flight state or defensive mode.

Entering into defensive mode is actually a good thing when it comes to real, present danger. However, two challenges create false personality traits: perceived danger and long term stress. When you find yourself in constant danger, trauma responses become normalized. The subconscious narrative running in the back of your mind is shaped by long term exposure to dangerous situations (and these events can be physical or psychological). In this case, your nervous system never has time to reset back to rest. So much so, how you see and think becomes altered. And this is the core of trauma—its not the event itself but how one changed by the event. For example, if someone falls and gets a scrape on their knee the scrape is considered the trauma not the actual fall. The fall was just the event. Responses become traumatic when they are continued or repeated outside of the presence of danger.

And this behavior can't come with you. This is not belittling your experiences. What you went through was real. However, when trauma becomes you, you relive those experiences over and over again. Letting go of what hurts can sometimes hurt, but healing is found on the other side of releasing it.

Pick up something better. Habits create outcomes. Choosing healthier habits grants the opportunity for better outcomes. Whether it's getting more sleep, eating clean, working out, or meditating, changing your habits (how you think, speak, and behave) largely impacts your experiences. The change you seek may require establishing new relationships, embracing solitude, or creating boundaries. Discover the speech, thoughts, and actions that align with where you would like to go (or who you are becoming) and practice them.

Employ Patience. Patience is something that has to be activated. What you desire to change didn’t occur overnight, so chances are it will take time to shift into the new. And that’s ok. When you embrace time and become a better waiter, things not only happen, but the journey is less stressful. And the only thing that stress from one area does is create stress in other areas. Be patient with the process and with yourself.

Reinventing yourself is a beautiful experience. You’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve journeyed. You will also have the benefit of having a front row seat to all that’s ahead of you. Enjoy the ride.

LifeWork

Based on this article, reflect on the following:

• What are at least three healthy habits you practice daily?

• What is at least one unhealthy habit you practice?

• What is one trauma response you find yourself practicing even when there is no present danger (i.e. overthinking, worry, being defensive towards others without cause)?

• What are at least three new behaviors (i.e. thought, speech, and/or action) you can begin to strengthen through practice?

• How can you wait better?

Be sure to journal your experience.