The Comparison Trap
In real estate, appraisers seek out near-by properties with similar characteristics to the subject property whose value is being determined. Property value is based on its physical condition, amenities, and surrounding structures. While this is industry standard for real estate, it is dangerous and futile when it comes to you.
Here are 3 ways to avoid the comparison trap:
You Are Your Competition
Imagine if Person A born in 1979 compared themselves to Person B, born in 1983. See Person A waking up every morning discouraged, wishing they were born in 1983; desiring to be 36 instead of 40. Wouldn’t that be the silliest thing ever? Sadly, many fall prey to this very concept daily. The reality of the matter is you will never be someone else. Having this secret match of competition with another will always place you on the losing end. The only competition is you. Instead of desiring Person B’s age, Person A needs to pay attention to the journey. How far they came in the years gone by; the progress made 5 years ago, 2 years ago, and yesterday.
You cannot compare apples and oranges, sure they are both fruits but they are entirely different in seed origin, taste and aesthetic. Even identical twins aren’t exactly alike.
Competition is striving to win something by defeating others who are seeking the same prize. The only other person you can fairly and genuinely compete with is the older version of yourself.
You are your only competition.
Knowing Who You Are
Comparison reveals a weakness in self-worth. If you truly know who you are, the idea of comparing yourself to another would be non-existent. If you know you’re an apple, you wouldn’t look to an orange to define you. Being strong in the knowledge of self allows you to clap for others when they win and still reign as champ in your domain. Watch any interview between Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey; it’s an amazing dynamic to see two powerhouses connect and both of them shine.
Your worth is not based on the rise or fall of other people, neither is it in found in material possessions or accolades. It ultimately rests at the core of who you are; your inner being. No one can beat you at being you.
Celebrate Your Wins
At times we get stuck in the modes of striving and forget to celebrate our wins. A sure way to setting a new goal is achieving a previous one. There will always be new levels to reach; we can find ourselves never taking a moment to breathe after finishing the last lap. We must express gratitude for the distance already traveled; for getting over the ex you thought you couldn’t live without, for cutting the bad habit, for losing the five pounds, and increasing the credit score by 50 points. For the sacrifices that led to this very moment. We must pause and appreciate development because what’s appreciated grows in value.
Savor your victories; they will be the building blocks that get you through the next round. They are credits to store in your bank of self - worth.