Who would you be without fear? Where would you be without fear? Being fearful seems to be expected and even embraced. Many speak of fear as a motivator while others say “do it afraid”. Taking time to actually dissect fear, most will find that the human body and the human mind are not designed to live in it. There is a built-in system to respond to danger and then there is fear which is the state of being afraid based on the belief (or perception) of danger. When one is able to recognize this about fear, they are then able to live beyond it.
Fear as a Coping Mechanism. The way one solved problems as a child is most likely the same way they solve issues as an adult. Without overcoming childhood fears and challenges, an adult may very well result to childlike coping mechanisms to navigate through present day living. Some may even gravitate towards fear as a strategy of protection; in all actuality, fear isn’t proctection but prevention. It prevents you from truly living. Looking to fear for counsel and guidance, leads to bondage; caging you in a self-made cell. Discovering whether or not fear is used as a way to cope with daily life is a major step in being freed from it. Once you understand the agreement made with fear, you are then in the position to choose not to rely on it.
Fear as a Learned Behavior. If fear is embedded in the household, culture, or society you live in chances are you have been groomed to run on the “fuel” of fear. Indirectly and subconsciously, you may have picked up on some traits and ways of living that are laced with fearful what ifs, and timidity towards the future. Unlearning in this situation is key; it includes discovering those automatic responses and where they came from then replacing them with healthy (and hopeful) decisions. When fear is learned, it is important to note, that you may not be aware of it because it may be considered normal. Remember, just because a thing is normal doesn’t make it natural or profitable.
Fear as a Tool of Control. Intimidation is a control mechanism most often used by fearful individuals. It is a form of oppression that can show up in families, friendships, and societies. For a person who has been bullied, controlled by others, or experienced trauma, intimidating others is a form of self-preservation. It may also be found that they are actually fearful of those they seek to intimidate. Similar to using fear as a coping mechanism, intimidation doesn’t rescue or protect the individual; it simply spreads fear while still keeping them bound to the very fear they are extending. The need for control is a byproduct of fear. Finding yourself in this position, requires dealing with the hurt at the root of that need of control.
No matter where a person lands when it comes to fear, understanding the truth about it is vital. When one discovers that fear is not a way of life, a doorway to actually living life is unlocked. Walking through that door, takes healing. And healing creates a safe space within.
LifeWork
What is your perception/perspective of fear?
Do you use fear as a coping mechanism?
Is fear a learned behavior for you?
Do you use fear as a tool of control?
What areas of your life require healing to live life beyond fear?
Be sure to journal your experience.
This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.