Becoming a Better Partner (for the right person)

The List. Tear up the list you’ve created for your ideal partner and start becoming the best version of yourself. You may even see how that list changes once you do. Oftentimes, what we desire in a mate are qualities we should embody. The list can actually be seen as what we hold in high regard. However, too often, we don’t seek to become grounded in the very things we’re hoping for.

Core Values. What would it be like to date you? Have you ever taken time to consider that question? What’s it like being in your presence? What value do you add to the environment? Is it peace and joy or chaos and confusion?

Chances are, if you haven’t considered this thought, you may be looking for someone to fill in spaces that can be fulfilled without being in a relationship. This is not to say relationships are unnecessary or to insist that you can do everything alone. But when it comes to core values, it’s vital to first personify those things yourself.

Harmony. Becoming who you desire to be is key to having healthy relationships. What type of spouse do you want to be? The truth is, no one can complete you and coming into the relationship whole only makes for a better experience. Partnerships should be spaces where both people uplift and inspire each other. Depending on someone else for your sense of wholeness can be exhausting for everyone involved—this is just as true in friendships. A solid foundation is major.

Don’t Settle. The journey of becoming the person you hope to share love and life with has additional benefits, such as the ability to choose wisely and not settle for the sake of being with someone. The more you become, the more value you see in yourself. This leads to confidence in the wait. It leads to being a strong individual and an even stronger partner.

LifeWork

Based on this article, set aside at least 10 minutes to consider the following:

• How comfortable am I being solo? Am I able to sit in stillness and experience calmness?

  
  

• Do I currently treat myself how I’d like others to treat me?

  
  

• What is one thing I can do weekly, daily, and monthly to be more kind to myself?

  
  

• What areas of my life can I invest in, versus looking for a mate?

  
  

• What are three things I seek in a mate that I also embody?

  
  

• Be sure to journal your experience.

---