Celibacy: To Do or Nah?

To do or not to do? For many of us in the process of adult-ing, this is the question. Refraining from sex can initially feel like a daunting task. The answer is in understanding the rewards. Contrary to popular belief abstinence, more specifically celibacy is the cure for a lot of the disappointment you may be experiencing in your dating life. Knowing every level of engagement from puppy love to divorce, one will come to understand just how much sex impacts us physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and yes even financially.

Celibacy is deciding to abstain from intercourse for a higher purpose. And while you may not know it, stepping away until a true commitment and appointed time could be the very solution to your silent requests.


The mental, emotional, and spiritual exchange occurring during and after intercourse is monumental. FYI: Sex is not just a physical act (regardless of your gender). Marriage is the closest earthly reflection of the relationship we have with Spirit; and sex is the bonding of soul and flesh. It is a form of surrender. Think about it, when sharing your body with another, you are granting access to your innermost parts – spirit, soul, and body.

Some of us wouldn’t even do business with the same person we choose to have sex with a.k.a surrender our entire being to.

Meditate on this reality.

Your Life’s Work

Man or woman, aligning with purpose and discovering oneself is vital to all things. Completing your life’s work in a space of solitude is far more worth immediate gratification via sex. The process is a bit easier too. You allow yourself to be molded into the real you; not crafted to the opinions or frustrations of others. Often times we are trying to make a connection with another individual and have yet to truly connect within ourselves. Too much energy is wasted on making someone else happy when we don’t even know our personal likes, hopes, and dreams. Taking time to focus on your life’s work is essential.

Delayering, discovering, and digging up emotional scars, uncertainty, financial woes, and the like takes place during your time of celibacy and singlehood. Missing this step is the reason why many relationships fail in the long run. It’s why we find unhappily married parents (or roommates) instead of blissful partnerships.


Committing to another is much more difficult without the discipline and ability to commit to yourself and Spirit. If there is no sexual discipline prior to a marriage, don’t think the words I Do will magically change this behavior. Celibacy supports fidelity. It also provides the space and time needed for two individuals to acquaint themselves; where two souls can become one without touching. This is where the question: Can I spend a lifetime with you? is truly answered.


Celibacy is a space of honor; it’s not punishment neither is it based on a lack of options for the time being. It is an act of honoring yourself, Spirit, and the one you will eventually become one with.

You will not bare someone else’s name until you fulfill the call on your own. Hearing these words rang so true. When you find yourself trying to figure out why one relationship after the other just isn’t working, stop and think about your wholeness. Your personal hero’s journey. Focus on filling yourself up and all that you need (and want) will be added to you.



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